


Let Your Smile Shine On Me

by sleepymccoy



Category: Star Trek, Star Trek: The Original Series
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Body Image, Kinda, M/M, McSpirk - Freeform, Self Confidence Issues, Smut, theres some sexy times early on
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6244957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleepymccoy/pseuds/sleepymccoy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones has some deep rooted body image issues, which come out inconveniently one night. He handles it very badly, leaving Jim and Spock floundering to figure out how to fix this. <br/>Everything ends up happy enough, but consider this a trigger warning for body image related shit.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Let Your Smile Shine On Me

Leonard watched Jim as he sat at his desk finishing off a report for Starfleet. There was a frustrating amount of information to sift through still, and Leonard didn't intend to make it any easier for him. He had Spock up against the dining table and was nibbling at his pointed ears without mercy. Spock, as per his custom, was accepting this challenge silently, and so far had managed to keep his responses contained to minute shifting and the odd hissing release of breath.

 

Luckily for Leonard, Jim was just as attuned to Spock's noises as he was, and with every moan the Vulcan hid behind a hushed breath, or plea that he said with his hips, Jim's shoulders would roll or tighten. He'd already rearranged how he sat once, meaning the quiet sounds were certainly getting to him. 

 

He’d had such a shit day, his own physical, performed beautifully by Chapel, but still. He was far too thin, and physicals were never wholly comfortable. He was so pleased he could come home to these two malleable fools. Leonard grinned, biting Spock's neck, right where his main artery lay. A centimeter further back than humans, his medical side catalogued. Spock let out a sharp open mouth sigh, and across the room Jim stretched his neck. 

 

Leonard ran his hands down Spock's sides, tickling him lightly. He got a grip on Spock's shirts and slowly pulled them off, revealing his bare chest, the rustling unmistakable in the otherwise silent room. What a body this Vulcan had on him. Jim moaned quietly from his corner, filling out the various sections of the report as quickly as he physically could. Leonard smirked, that kid loved to be teased. And Spock loved being used. He just liked watching them both squirm. Only time he could get them to do what he wanted was in bed. Or, in this case, at the dining room table and desk.

 

He spun Spock around, murmuring in his ear about giving Jim a nice sight to look at when he finally finished that report. Spock obediently stood facing Jim, his face and chest flushed in excitement, his hips pushed up harshly against the table. Bones kept talking, trusting by the blush that had extended to Jim's ears and neck that even if he couldn't hear Leonards specific words, he was getting the jist. He ran his hand down Spock's front, grinding softly into his rear, “God, you're stunning,” he groaned, “Jim's a lucky boy.”

 

Spock turned his head towards Leonard, kissing the side of his head. “I believe Jim would like to see your body too, Leonard. If you would?” he suggested, innocently flirting, tugging at Leonard’s shirt.

 

That wasn't what he had planned, no. This was about putting Spock on display. Leonard chuckled under his breath, playing with Spock's tummy hair. “No one wants to look at this skinny frame, not when you're here being so damn beautiful,” he said under his breath. He kept stroking Spock's front, leaning back in to nuzzle his neck.

 

Spock's head tipped forward and he frowned, his eyebrows pinching together. “Stop,” he said calmly but firmly. 

 

Leonard removed his hand quickly, stepping back from Spock. “What's wrong?” he asked. Jim spun around in his chair, looking at them in concern. 

 

Spock turned and looked at Leonard seriously, considering him as a few tense seconds passed. “You consider yourself too skinny to be attractive?” he asked, hitting the nail on the head first try. Spock was studying Leonard like a science experiment that was behaving unexpectedly. 

 

Leonard glanced over at a worried Jim in the corner and sighed. “Ah, Spock,” he said, running his hand through his hair. “Don't worry about it, it's not like that.” He took a few more step back, if they weren't gonna get back to it he needed to cool off. Spock never knew quite how much of a turn on he was when he was wet lipped and flushed like this.

 

Spock watched him as he stepped slowly and awkwardly away. Spock crossed his arms, “What is it like, then?” he asked.

 

He felt a small, irrational ball of cold panic in his stomach. He wasn't entirely sure why it was there or what it meant but he knew he didn't want it enveloping him. Leonard let out a sick laugh, “I mean, sure I'm a looker, but compared t’you two who's gonna be watching my boney hips?” He tried to sound cheerful, to break the tension in the room, but his voice was tight, constrained by the sudden lump in his throat. Jim and Spock were both staring at him. Leonard glanced at Jim in forced amusement, hoping to defuse the situation before it built any more, but Jim was having none of it and Leonard looked away quickly, a shamed blush starting to sneak onto his face. Leonard focused on Spock who looked confused and worried. He couldn't bring himself to look at Jim's heartbroken expression more than once, and even that one time had nearly brought tears to his own eyes. 

 

Jim and Spock exchanged a serious look. “It's not that big a deal, boys!” Leonard cried, spreading his arms in exasperation. Jim stood up, leaving his report behind and walking over.

 

Leonard pointed at Jim in sudden abject fury. “Jim, you sit down and finish your work, you're blowing this way out of proportion!” he yelled. 

 

Spock and Jim flinched in surprise, Jim haltering for a beat before hurrying over, faster than before. Contrary bastard.

 

Spock steeled himself for a moment, which annoyed Leonard all the more, and took a step forward, his hand brushing down the side of Leonard’s face. “Leonard, I am confused,” he murmured quietly, his vulnerable expression throwing Leonard’s rage off for a moment.

 

“It's - I -” Leonard muttered, floundering for his anger, finding it far more comfortable than this panic and sadness he felt bubbling beneath. “Shut up,’ he pushed out, the words far harsher than he had intended.

 

“Leo…” Jim said, absolute misery coming through in his voice, his hand resting softly on one of Leonard’s shoulders. 

 

Leonard spun on him, steeling himself against softening at Jim's expression. “Don't you ‘Leo’ me, Kirk,” he yelled, forcing himself to ignore the hurt on Jim’s face. “This not a ‘Leo’ situation, alright?”

 

Jim took a step back from him. “Jesus, ok,” he said defensively, glaring at Leonard through shining eyes. Leonard felt a stab of guilt, but he pushed it down quickly. He couldn't handle this, he had to get out.

 

“This is bullshit, I'm going,” he said and turned on his heel. 

 

“Bones!” Jim called to him.

 

“I'm behind on my logs,” Leonard said, his voice cracking. Damn.

 

“Leonard, please-” he heard Spock say, cut off by the door closing behind him. 

 

Leonard stood in the hallway and ran his hand through his hair. That had been fucking terrible. 

  
  


\---BREAK---

  
  


Leonard managed to successfully avoid them for a few days. He’d had to swing by the Bridge once, but had made a point of only talking to Uhura. Jim had come by medlab early the morning after their fight, but Leonard had called him Captain the whole time, and outright ignored any attempt at a personal conversation. Spock kept coming by, twice a day. Three days had passed, and Leonard had responded to Spock’s polite and tentative visits with nothing but cold professionalism that occasionally turned to barely contained anger. Spock, it appeared, had a level of patience Leonard hadn't expected, coupled with a stubbornness that Leonard did, in fact, know all about. And could match. Chapel was getting increasingly curious. 

 

Then suddenly, without any preamble, Leonard joined Jim and Spock for lunch. It was real food Thursday, a treat they only got for the first month after a lengthy stop over, and the three of them always caught up. He simply sat down with them, his tray containing a vegetarian meal so that Spock would be comfortable, and a side of chips that he silently split with Jim. Spock and Jim sat, shocked into silence, and not wanting to say anything to break the fragile truce Leonard seemed to be proposing. Then Leonard began talking. He complained about a fool ensign who’d managed to completely sever two of his fingers the day before. He told an amusing anecdote about how he had managed to drop a drawer, mixing up a whole bunch of vials and had spent nearly two hours correctly sorting them. Jim said nothing the whole time, smiling sadly at the funny portions of Leonard’s stories, but not speaking. Spock politely asked all the pertinent questions to keep Leonard talking, finding he’d sorely missed having a cheerful Doctor in his life, and wishing to continue hearing his voice. Leonard began retelling a story Scotty had told him the night before about some Russian bullshit Chekov had been spouting when Jim interrupted.

 

“So, you're not leaving us?” Jim asked.

 

Leonard looked at him in alarm, snapping instantly out of his cheerful rant. His fork was still frozen half in his meal as he gaped, searching for a response. “God  _ no _ , Jim. I - I don't want to… no,” he managed. He looked over at Spock for some support but the stoic Vulcan had his eyes closed as he let out a controlled breath. Jesus, they'd both thought… he'd fucked up here.

 

Jim had a drink, the glass shaking in his hand. “Ok,” he sighed. He gave Leonard a small, sad smile and asked softly, “Bones, darling, what’s been going on?” 

 

Leonard sighed and put his fork down, having barely touched his stuffed capsicum. He rubbed his fingers against his temples, “No, Jim, don’t-don’t do that.”

 

“We told you you’re attractive, and you walked out! What was that? I mean, are you that against the idea that you’re beautiful?” Jim whispered, almost angrily, leaning across the table to Leonard.

 

“Jesus Christ, Jim,” Bones hissed at him, “Could we do this somewhere else?”

 

“But you’re gorgeous, Bones, I don’t understand-” Jim stopped when Spock placed his hand on Jim’s arm. Jim turned and faced Spock angrily. “You can’t _possibly_ be ok with this,” Jim said quietly, the hurt betrayal on his face hitting Leonard in the heart. 

 

“Of course I am not _ok with this_ , and I do not consider this current state to be the way we shall remain. However, I believe Leonard is correct in that we should discuss this further in private, given there is no impending threat to our relationship,” Spock said, his voice tense but controlled. Jim nodded and Spock looked over at Leonard, who scowled at him for a moment before nodding. “Will you both join me for dinner, then?” Spock asked.

 

Jim looked over at Leonard quickly, the silent plea clear in his eyes. 

 

Leonard glanced between the two of them and let out a breathy, “Yeah.” Jim grinned at him, making Leonard feel all the more guilty. Judging by Spock’s relieved expression Jim hadn’t smiled like that since Leonard had left Jim’s room three days previously. Or possibly Spock was just relieved that Leonard had agreed to meet with them later. Both options sent misery running through him. He loved these men. 

 

Silence fell between them for a moment. Spock turned to Jim and asked him how Admiral Cortana had responded to his request for an extended shore leave at Starbase Seven. Jim launched into a familiar cheerful rant about dumbass admirals and their lack of hands on knowledge. Leonard found himself slowly relaxing, the strain of the last few days seeping out of him, as Jim kept complaining, drawing some amusingly harsh parallels to certain torture techniques. Leonard smiled as Jim started discussing the possibility of applying the Geneva convention to his pitch for shorter weekend shifts, which Cortana had shot down weeks ago. 

 

Leonard glanced over and found Spock watching him closely. He realised just how happy and comfortable Jim had made him as Spock’s steady eyes reminded him of the whole situation. He wasn't entirely sure why this had blown up into such a huge deal, he'd accepted compliments from these two before. This time it had just hit him deeper and he hadn't been able to believe it. Bad build up from the day, he guessed.

 

Jim trailed off into silence as Spock and Leonard looked sadly at each other, Leonard feeling like he should apologise but not wanting to. He brought his hand up and rested it palm up on the table for Spock. Whether he was asking for forgiveness or comfort, he wasn't sure himself.

 

Spock studied his hand like it was an intimidating bottle of Scotty’s mysterious brew for roughly ten seconds before placing his own on top, fingers interlacing as they held each other.

 

Jim smiled warmly at Spock then dove straight back into his tale, “It wouldn't even have to be a full weekend, just one day a week where people have shorter shifts, we don't need a full compliment all the time we can have the rest on call, and more extra curricular activities. Movie night! We could have a movie night. Or even casual dress…”

  
  


\---BREAK---

  
  


It was fair to say that Leonard was freaking out. His shift had ended thirty minutes ago, and he’d managed to stall leaving for twenty minutes so that he wouldn’t have any down time in his room before Chapel had yelled at him. Again. Well he was in his room now and stalling hadn't really helped. He’d spent the last hour or so of his shift slowly approaching panic, the ball of stress steadily eating away at his insides, and now, alone, it was beginning to catch him. He did not think he was unattractive, he knew he looked reasonable, but that was about the extent of it. He just wasn’t looking forward to having to discuss it in the long, suffering conversation he was sure Spock had all planned out. Christ, if they started listing all his positive attributes he may snap.

 

He grabbed his bottle of bourbon, looking at the light through the golden colour. Jim would probably smack him if he got drunk before this meal. He sighed and put the bottle back, looking at it longingly. He should put a different shirt on, too. That was one of his own rules, civvies whenever they could. They saw each other in uniform often enough, it was nice to have a reason to dress up. Or down. Different, at least. Spock had quite the colourful collection of robes. He pulled off his blue shirt and flung it onto a chair. He grabbed a collared shirt, so old it had gone soft, and pulled it on over his undershirt, leaving it unbuttoned. He couldn’t be bothered changing pants.

 

He should leave now. He sat down on his couch. Two person couch, technically, but the three of them had found a way to squeeze together plenty of times. They only fit, he thought angrily, because he was so thin, which while handy is not generally considered an attractive body shape. He certainly wouldn’t fuck himself. Jim and Spock, though, he’d fall to his knees any time they asked. He huffed out a laugh and smiled grimly. Time to face the music. He stood up quickly, only feeling slightly nauseous over the impending meal, and left his quarters.

 

Luckily, Spock’s room was a few doors down, so he didn’t have to deal with the suspense for long. He hit the intercom by the doorway, saying his name roughly. The door opened pretty much immediately and he saw Jim and Spock standing by the table, quite close to each other, looking towards the door at him. They were both far better dressed than he was. He glanced down at his crappy shirt and uniform blacks. “Ah, I can go change?” he mumbled, still in the doorway.

 

“Don’t be silly, you’re beautiful, get in,” Jim said.

 

Leonard sighed in exasperation. This, apparently, was the approach they were going to take. Constant compliments. That was gonna get old fast. He stepped into the room, nodding his greeting to Spock. The door swooshed shut behind him, leaving the room half lit, the light directly over the table being the only one on. Leonard crossed his arms over his chest.

 

“What's for dinner, then?” Leonard asked, walking past the two men, who exchanged concerned looks as he passed. Damn, he should've kissed them, they always kiss when they meet up. No, he's pissed off and he should let his emotions be known, Spock needed all the help he could get when it comes to understanding human reactions. Except he wasn't pissed at them, he was more angry at himself. So maybe he should have kissed them- why was this so difficult? He'd watched these men lick his cum off each other’s bellies, how could a dinner be awkward? 

 

“Soup,” Jim said with a forced smile and sat at the table.

 

Leonard nodded absently, sitting down in his usual spot. He furrowed his brows, looking at the covered pot suspiciously. He looked at Spock sharply. “Plomeek?” he asked, the worry clear in his voice.

 

Jim chuckled as he tore a piece of bagel off for himself. 

 

“Pumpkin, Doctor,” Spock said, sounding slightly annoyed. And fair enough too, Leonard was consistently a shit about eating certain Vulcan food. 

 

Jim passed him and Spock some bread while Spock began ladeling the soup into everyone's bowls. Silence fell for a minute as the three began to eat. An uncomfortable silence, Leonard thought morosely.

 

He reached over to grab more bread. Jim looked up at him as soon as he moved. Leonard smiled tightly at him. “Who ever heard of purple soup, anyway?” he asked casually, relying on an old topic for safety.

 

Jim let out a light chuckle, glancing at Spock. “I think Vulcans have, Bones,” he said with a smirk.

 

Leonard laughed quietly, turning back to his meal quickly. Well that hadn't lasted long, he thought. He wasn't sure if that was a blessing or a curse, bloody painful interaction. 

 

He threw his last piece of bread into the shallow remnants of his soup and leaned back. “What's going on?” he asked loudly.

 

Jim and Spock looked at him. “We were hoping you would tell us,” Spock said, calmly placing his own spoon down. 

 

“I don't have any issues,” Leonard said flippantly. He sat silently, looking at their unconvinced faces. “Ok, so maybe I have some issues, but it's nothing t’do with you two.”

 

“Bones, you yelled at us and we don't understand why,” Jim said, “You could at least explain that.”

 

He could just tell them. He could admit to this dumb self doubt. But he didn't want that to be a theme of their relationship, that he didn't like his body. And these two had their own self hate to be dealing with, his was so minor compared to theirs. Jim with his everlasting survivor's guilt and insecurity in his position. He didn't even want to think about the food thing from Taurus. And Spock's mixed heritage was just a whirlpool of crippling emotional damage. 

 

“I'd had my physical, I just didn't feel like getting unclothed quick smart.” Half truths, he reasoned, are better than no truths at all. Especially as he had no desire to tell them that this had only really started once he'd been constantly surrounded by both their god-like figures. He didn't blame them in any way, most of the time he was almost giddy with joy that he was not only able to see the gorgeous pair, but he could see them in pretty much any situation he desired. He had some memories so beautiful he hoped they'd flash before his eyes as he died. That'd be the way to go. But still, your subconscious draws parallels.

 

“You know we never wish to put you in a position you are uncomfortable in,” Spock said. Leonard had a feeling that Spock's entire focus was on him. Which didn't really happen outside of a truly spectacular debate, and other more pleasant situations he wasn't in the mood to think about right now.

 

“But you gotta tell us what you don't wanna do,” Jim said. Leonard looked over at him, instantly hating how guilty Jim looked. This was not Jim's fault at all. “Cos you didn't leave in a fury just because Spock asked you to take your shirt off!” Jim said, just shy of angrily. Leonard’s stomach did an uncomfortable twist as he considered just what he'd put these two through over the last few days. He'd just wanted to stay away until he calmed down so that he wouldn't make them feel responsible. But they'd clearly managed to talk themselves into a deep sense of guilt without him. 

 

It's quite possible that this couldn’t’ve gone worse.

 

Leonard searched uselessly for some of that anger that had fueled him all week. “I'd had my physical-”

 

“You said already, but I don't get why that set you off!” Jim said. 

 

“I had Chapel poking and prodding me for nearly two hours, pointing out how thin I am, noting all my moles and wrinkles, digging into my ribs and just…” he sighed, feeling vaguely ridiculous for complaining about something he regularly put Jim and Spock through. “I was just a bit more vulnerable than usual, and it manifested badly.”

 

“Touch more than badly, Bones, you shouted at us, left without explanation, then didn't talk to us for days!”

 

“And I'm sorry about that, I really am, but I'm better now,” Leonard said, spreading his hands to show his openness. It was highly unlikely that this would work, but God moves in mysterious ways.

 

Jim looked at him sternly, clearly unconvinced by Leonard’s platitudes. So God's not that mysterious, then. 

 

“I have a specific point I wish to clarify,” Spock said, looking at Jim and Leonard until they rested back in their chairs and paid attention to him. “You said, ‘compared to you two, who is going to be watching my boney hips’,” Spock said, looking at Leonard with his big, sad eyes.

 

“How d'you remember exactly what I said?” Leonard asked.

 

“Bones, answer his question,” Jim said in exasperation. 

 

“What question, he didn't ask me anything. He was just clarifying a point!” Leonard said. He knew he was being difficult, but he had a fine line to walk to convince them that there was no lasting issue.

 

_ “Bones.”  _ Jim glared at him. Leonard glared right back.

 

“Fine,” Leonard said to Jim through gritted teeth. He looked over at Spock, who was moving his lips silently. Leonard felt a hysterical bubble of amusement, Spock was doing one of his Vulcan mantras to keep himself calm. “Yes, Spock, I said that.”

 

“I take from this that you not only do you consider yourself too thin to be attractive, but internally you compare yourself physically to the two of us,” Spock said with the air of someone who has thought about the wording of the sentence for a long time.

 

Well, damn. Maybe he should be paying more attention to Spock's psychological evaluations.

 

Jim huffed a laugh, but as Leonard remained silent for longer he started to look concerned, before, finally, “Bones, no!” Leonard looked at him with a cold calm. “Don't you dare tell me that… That you think that… Dammit, Bones,” Jim said, standing up fast enough to knock his chair over. He turned quickly, still muttering, “Nah,” under his breath and walked off to glare at the wall for a minute.

 

Leonard watched him walk angrily away and felt completely terrible. His mouth opened in miserable shock and he whispered, “I'm sorry,” at Jim's shadowed figure, too far away to be able to hear Leonard’s quiet apology.

 

Spock looked at Leonard and held one finger up. Leonard nodded and waved him away, glad that someone was there to help Jim, because clearly he wasn't going to be a positive influence right now. He felt his eyes tearing up and found himself uselessly begging them to stop.

 

Spock up and left, immediately touching Jim's arm in comfort. His voice was too low, Leonard couldn't make out exactly what the two were saying. He sat there in a miserable, lonely, guilty silence. He really hadn't expected so intense a reaction. He'd expected… exasperation. Something more in line with how blown out of proportion this whole ridiculous affair was. Men his age do not have self esteem issues, not when they're rational and have studied psychology, surely.

 

“...did we do? I never want him to feel…” Jim's voice carried over to him briefly before Spock stood in the way, quietening Jim and muffling the sound.

 

Damn, Jim was taking it personally. This wasn't on either of them, it was entirely Leonards shortcomings that were causing this, they had to know it. Spock was probably truly fed up with the situation, given the illogical nature of humans. Leonard was a prime source of illogical chaos to the man. Leonard’s heart was beating far too fast and he felt mildly sick again.

 

Jim and Spock walked over to him. Leonard looked up, eyes shimmering in guilt. “Decided on your plan of attack?” he asked, wincing at how defensive and sarcastic he sounded.

 

Spock started piling the bowls together. He left the room while Jim sat down.

 

“Bones, I'm not gonna try and convince you you're gorgeous, ok?” Jim said quietly.

 

Leonard sat, confused for a moment. Slock returned and silently removed the soup bowl and bread container. Jim seemed to be waiting on a response. “Yeah, sounds good,” Leonard said.

 

Jim rolled his eyes in mild annoyance at that. He leaned in across the table. “But, I do ask that you try and accept that we think you're the most beautiful thing in any room. It's our opinion. Ours, not yours.” Jim paused and looked deep into his eyes, “You take my breath away.”

 

The air suddenly felt thinner. As Leonard attempted to gather any thoughts to form a comprehensive response Spock returned and sat down. Leonard kept gazing vulnerably at Jim's face, looking for any sign he was just trying to be kind, and finding none.

 

Suddenly Spock's fingers were delving under his, interrupting his vice grip on the table. Leonard looked sharply at Spock. “You are more attractive than I would have believed possible,” Spock said simply.

 

Leonard found himself gaping foolishly at the two of them. He hadn't expected this kind of… forgiveness. He shook his head to clear his thoughts. “But,” he looked over at Spock in open confusion. “But people have written poems about his hair,” he said absurdly, nodding his head towards Jim.

 

Spock glanced at Jim, who was rolling his eyes, remembering that frustrating group of poets. Spock looked back at Leonard, his hand still entwined. He tilted his head to the side and raised an amused eyebrow. “Would you like me to write a poem about your hair?” Spock asked.

 

Leonard suddenly laughed. A lot. Far more than the joke had warranted. Jim grinned, leaning across the table and putting his hand on top of Leonard and Spock's entwined fingers. 

 

“I think I'll take a pass on that one, thank you, Spock,” Leonard said, feeling relaxed again for the first time this meal. For the first time in days, really.

 

“Are you quite certain?” Spock asked, “I have much to say on the subject of your hair.”

 

“You’re being ridiculous, Spock. Don't overplay your hand,” Leonard said, leaning towards Spock and kissing him. Spock welcomed the kiss, returning it eagerly.

 

Leonard leaned back and looked over at Jim who was gazing at them lovingly. He put his free hand out and Jim grabbed it quickly. Leonard brought his hand up to his mouth and kissed the back of Jim's hand sweetly.

 

The three looked at each other, smiling, finally comfortable. 

 

They had sex that night, softly, tenderly. Leonard was the first to have his clothes removed, with Jim kissing every inch of his body while Spock's two fingers ran over every piece of skin as Jim slowly exposed him. At no point did he feel naked, though. Spock and Jim stayed so close to him, always pressing their bodies against him, that he felt the fabric of their clothes on his chest, his back, his thighs. He felt almost overwhelmed by their present as he attempted to pour his love for them into his kisses and grasps, but they were determined to make this night about him. They came beautifully, entwined on the bed not sure who's leg was pressing where, and together they faded off to sleep.

 

They weren't done dealing with this, but they were on a good path. Jim started being more vocal about how attractive he found Leonard’s body. Spock let himself get caught checking Leonard out more often. Leonard knew exactly what they were doing, but somehow that didn't change the fact that it worked, and he found himself settling comfortably into his body. The voice in his head started to sound more like Jim's enthusiastic compliments than his own self conscious mutterings. He began looking at his ass in his pants and imagining the reaction he would get out of Spock, and found he walked more confidently all day for it. And while he did storm out of their room during sex a number of times in the future, never again was it because he didn't want them to see his body. They could never truly fix the problem, and sometimes Leonard would insist on keeping his shirt on, but the other two never pushed him, and the feeling would pass shortly.

 

\---EPILOGUE---

 

Leonard was interrupted from his work by Spock. He looked up happily, glad to have the opportunity for a break. “Spock, how are you?”

 

“I am here to deliver on my promise I made last night,” Spock said, pulling a piece of paper out.

 

“Promise..?” Leonard couldn't think of a promise Spock had made that he was likely to fulfil on paper. 

 

Spock passed him the page, then raised a sly eyebrow. “I shall be on the Bridge should you want me,” he said, and Leonard swore he saw a smirk. Spock left the room quickly. Very quickly. What the hell had he written.

 

Leonard opened the paper. Written in Spock's neat handwriting was the word  _ Hair  _ followed by an uneven paragraph. Leonard read the first three lines before Spock's comment the night before about a poem came back to him. 

 

Leonard let out a furious laugh, crumpling the paper and glaring at the closed door Spock had left by. He quickly opened the page again and read the whole catastrophic thing.

  
_Hair_

 

_ You, _

_ Are pulling your hair in frustration, _

_ Anger boiling inside of you, _

_ Ready to break something. _

_ But, _

_ You pulled back your hair, _

_ And let your smile shine on me, _

_ I thought, _

_ No matter how pleasant Jim is, _

_ Your eyes, _

_ Are always more beautiful. _

  
  


That bastard. 

 

Leonard stormed out of his office, past a confused Chapel and beelined for the Bridge. He walked speedily through the hallways, sending ensigns scurrying out of his path. He got to the turbolift and found himself alone in the silent space for a moment. He felt a bubble of hilarity burst inside him and he began to chuckle, then laugh, clutching the railing desperately. As he got himself under control the doors opened to the Bridge. 

 

Leonard managed to contain himself enough to force his face into a glare and keep his giggling at bay. Uhura smiled warmly at him in greeting, but the rest of the Bridge ignored his presence. He walked up to Jim's seat and muttered a greeting. Jim glanced at him, looking slightly worried at his furious gaze.

 

At the sound of his subdued voice Spock turned around and looked at them. Leonard glared at the Vulcan. But, oh, Spock looked so innocent. That asshole had a poker face.

 

Jim sat, looking seriously at the front screen, and said, “Is that you letting your smile shine through on me, Bones?”

 

Leonard felt his control slip then crack and he started to chuckle under his breath, shaking his head at Spock.

 

“You bastards,” he said, still laughing.

 

Jim turned in his seat and grinned, “Don't start pulling your hair in frustration, now. You liked it?”

 

Sulu half turned to face them, but seemed to think better of it. He and Chekov exchanged confused glances.

 

“It's completely fucking ridiculous,” Leonard said happily. “And it's about my eyes, not my hair!” he said pointedly at Spock, who was leaving his station.

 

“Well, your hair is pretty drab,” Jim said with a laugh.

 

Leonard flung his head back in amusement and let out a loud peal of laughter. 

 

Spock had walked over to the railing, and was looking remarkably relaxed for an on duty Vulcan. “Your eyes, however, are most enchanting,” he said once Leonard had quietened down. 

 

Leonard looked at him and grinned, walking over. “Ma always called me her sapphire,” he said casually. Jim and Spock exchanged a pleased look with each other, which Leonard elected to ignore. “Thank you for the poem, Spock,” he murmured, kissing Spock lightly on his cheek, not wanting to push his luck. “It's lovely,”

 

He strolled back past Jim's chair, smacking him on the back of his head softly. Jim let out an outraged exclamation at this indignity. Leonard grinned and said, “That's for the drab hair comment, Kirk.”

 

Jim smiled sheepishly. “Love you,” he called as Leonard stepped into the turbolift. 

 

Sulu and Chekov did turn now in amusement, curious to see the usually grumpy Doctor's response. He rolled his eyes and murmured, “Love you too,” catching a glimpse of Jim's self satisfied smirk as the doors shut. 

  
He had a very cheerful rest of shift.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know how I did writing actual emotions? I don't do that much.   
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
